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Willy and Katie Tie the Not April 29, 2011

Posted by gregquill in Uncategorized.

(It used to be “knot”, but “not” more accurately describes the, er…, more contentious parts of modern marriage.)

Random thoughts…

So nice that England’s time zone is so much earlier than ours. They’re already married, and it’s only about 8:00 am here, so they have the whole day to talk about tea and crumpets, cricket, the Irish problem and so forth. Tra la…

The world can now focus on two relatively attractive people, and wonder what their kids will look like. Instead of fearing that Camilla and Gnarly Charlie (that’s Berke Breathed’s line from Bloom County) would produce a kid looking like them.

Too bad all of that money was spent on Westminster, horses, carriages, uniforms and dresses, and the (hopefully) French food and not (dreadful) English fish ‘n chips – too bad they didn’t spend some of that loot on a free teeth cleaning and one tooth filling for England’s population. Or draft ‘em all, send them to ‘Ganistan and have the Americans on the birdfarms (aircraft carriers) start up the dentist drills.

I’d be more star struck if I didn’t loathe the English so much for they way they treated the Irish, even to this day. Yeah, yeah, I know – we didn’t do so well with the American indians, either. But what do you expect? We’re mostly the product of English colonialism; we learned inhumanity from them. The thing doesn’t fall far from under the tail of the horse thing. And probably the worst language in our solar system. Especially that jerk Cromwell. I guess I’d be mad too if my parents gave me the first name of “Cromwell”. What did his mates call him – Croms? Cromie? Big C? It was good that after he died, they dug him back up and hanged him.

Nice that Willy married a commoner. In my view, brings him up a couple of social pegs from “royaltee”. And it was nice that the Beatles loaned him the uniform from the cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. His Mum would have liked that.

From My Fair Lady, the question still is, “Why can’t the English learn to speak?” Why can’t the English come up with one word that we can call them? They don’t like “English” (that’s why I use it); British is passe’ after Harry Potter; Great Britainers is just dumb; “Britons” is too namby-pamby.

I’ve got it: How about “United Kingdomers”. “Uk’s”. Pronounced “yucks”.

By Jove, I think we’ve got it!




1. gregquill - April 29, 2011

Yeah, I know: Cromwell’s first name was “Oliver”. Doesn’t change anything – I’d STILL be mad at my folks! And Willy brings back the old stereotype: “The redcoats are coming!”

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