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Hey, Dude: You’re a Loser! January 25, 2010

Posted by gregquill in Uncategorized.

So now they want me to believe that Osama bin Laden is taking credit for his failures.

Osama now claims he’s behind the Nigerian underpants bomber of Christmas day.

Sure, I always broadcast my failures like that. It builds fear, and …


Do you know that there is now a whole generation of Nigerian freedom fighters and would-be martyrs who refuse to wear underpants anymore? It’s destroyed a whole market segment in Nigeria.

Now, does this tell us a way we can finally defeat bin Laden? Perhaps we can put him in position where he will become so exhausted he will simply crinkle up and die. Maybe we can give him a job where he will fail at everything he tries. Where failure is a hallmark. Where he will lose so much that the mere act of trying to take credit for all of those failures will sap his inner strength, poison his soul, and erase his will to live.

My first thought: U.S. Secretary of State. But Hillary seems to be having fun. And NO Secretary of State ever admits a mistake.

On the other hand, U.S. Ambassador to Israel. Yes, plenty of ways to have a bad day in THAT job. But bin Laden is anti-Semitic, so the Senate might not confirm him.

So, here it is. The losingest job we have: Administrator of NASA. You can’t win, and nobody expects you to try!

He won’t last a month.




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