So Tiger Woods did or did not smash his 2009 Cadillac SUV first into a fire hydrant, then into a neighbors tree, at 2:30 am in front of his house in a gated, expensive community in Orlando.

So his wife did or did not come outside, see him in distress, and smash the rear window with a golf club to get him out. Or, smash AT him THROUGH the window(s) to get him.

So a burning SUV was or was not involved.

So there was or was not a domestic argument in progress.

So the Florida highway patrol (they have highways to patrol in gated communities?) did or did not stop by earlier to see Tiger,but agreed to come back later, and then the accident allegedly happened.

So Woods was or was not lying in the street, bleeding or not from the mouth, when the cops screeched up. And there was not any blood inside the SUV.

So Tiger was or was not admitted to the hospital in serious condition.

So? So what?

Let’s get to the important stuff: what club did his wife select, and is the darn thing bent?!
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UPDATE! UPDATE!

These may be the first pictures of Tiger Woods and his low speed chase away from the cops. (We know that his SUV doesn’t go very fast, because no airbags popped and there was only minor, wife-in-a-rage induced damage after the crash. Looks like he followed O.J.’s Bronco method for eluding the cops, and skipping three (3) meetings with them. )

CBS News:

“ALICE SPRINGS, Australia, Nov. 26, 2009

“Australia Plans to Kill Thirsty Camels
Roughly 6,000 Camels, Which are not Native to Australia, Overran Outback Town Looking for Water

“It is common to see some camels in the remote community, but a continuing drought and an early heat wave have dried up other water sources and forced great numbers of them into town. Much of Australia is gripped by some of the worst drought conditions on record.

“(AP) Australian authorities plan to corral about 6,000 wild camels with helicopters and gun them down after they overran a small Outback town in search of water, trampling fences, smashing tanks and contaminating supplies.

“The Northern Territory government announced its plan Wednesday for Docker River, a town of 350 residents where thirsty camels have been arriving daily for weeks because of drought conditions in the region…”

Just because Sarah Palin likes to shoot moose from helicopters doesn’t make it right for Australia, which until now has been a friendly bunch of blokes. You brought the camels in (well, your great-great-grandads did) to help you; now you’re gonna slaughter them because they’re thirsty? The country who makes money from thirst (Foster’s somes to mind). No, not right. Do it, and we’ll have to remove the koalas, and other cute marsupials. Would you do that to the aborigines? Oh…. well, yes, I guess you would.

What this “aren’t I just so peachy?” article really tells us is the lesson a Brit taught to a six or seven year old American boy on a bicycle. (My comments are continued at the end.)

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WHAT ANDREW SULLIVAN IS GRATEFUL FOR: A moving Thanksgiving Day tribute to America expressed with a clarity that perhaps only a conservative, gay, Catholic, pugnacious and irrepressible expatriate Brit could attain:

My America
By Andrew Sullivan

My old colleague, the legendary British journalist and drunk Henry Fairlie, had a favourite story about his long, lascivious love affair with America. He was walking down a suburban street one afternoon in a suit and tie, passing familiar rows of detached middle-American dwellings and lush, green Washington lawns. In the distance a small boy – aged perhaps six or seven – was riding his bicycle towards him.

And in a few minutes, as their paths crossed on the pavement, the small boy looked up at Henry and said, with no hesitation or particular affectation: “Hi.” As Henry told it, he was so taken aback by this unexpected outburst of familiarity that he found it hard to say anything particularly coherent in return. And by the time he did, the boy was already trundling past him into the distance.
(more…)

This article is from the Irish Times, Thursday, November 26, 2009, 16:06

We Catholics in America have been receiving Irish priests to fill in for missing American priests for many years.

After reading this, I say, “No more.” We already have enough politicians in the U.S. who cannot tell the truth to save their lives; we don’t need priests (and Cardinals!) cut from the same cloth. I love the Church, but I cannot countenance clergy who are child abusers, liars, sexual deviants, sycophants, and warped paranoids hiding behind priestly robes. Why did we quit burning them at the stake?

Church ‘lied without lying’

Cardinal Desmond Connell: explained `mental reservation” as method whereby clerics can `lie without lying”

Commission of Investigation, Dublin Archdiocese
PATSY MCGARRY, Religious Affairs Correspondent

One of the most fascinating discoveries in the Dublin Archdiocese report was that of the concept of “mental reservation” which allows clerics [to] mislead people without believing they are lying.

According to the Commission of Investigation report, “mental reservation is a concept developed and much discussed over the centuries, which permits a church man knowingly to convey a misleading impression to another person without being guilty of lying”.

It gives an example. “John calls to the parish priest to make a complaint about the behaviour of one of his curates. The parish priest sees him coming but does not want to see him because he considers John to be a troublemaker. He sends another of his curates to answer the door. John asks the curate if the parish priest is in. The curate replies that he is not.” (more…)

A lady said, “When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us.”

“So what changed your mind?” I asked him.

“I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable.”

“He looked at my chart and said, ‘You’re interested in someone who’s 104?’”

Thanks to Crosswalk.com.

I was talking with a friend about our experiences in war recently. Vietnam was ours. That was a different war from the wars today. Back then, the enemy tried to kill us during our six month deployment, and then the rads (radical hippy flower power anti-warnicks) tried to kill us (or at least spit on us) as we got off the plane.

Reminds me of the scene in “Back to School”, 1986, the movie with Rodney Dangerfield and Sam Kinison, where Kinison is the whacked out former soldier and Dangerfield the student.

Kinison reminisces about Vietnam, (after a female student answered correctly why America pulled out of Vietnam):
(more…)

American Muslims To Fort Hood Shooter: ‘Thanks A Lot, {jerk}, November 12, 2009

from The Onion

FORT HOOD, TX—Following Army psychologist Nidal Malik Hasan’s shooting rampage on the Fort Hood military base last week that left 13 people dead and 30 others injured, fellow Muslims across the nation sent him a message today, saying “thanks a [whole big lot, fella],” to the 39-year-old killer.

“Hey, great, eight years of progress right down the [left hand only hole of excrement],” St. Cloud, MN resident Zahida Naseem said at one of dozens of impromptu rallies held nationwide. “And you just had to scream ‘Allahu Akbar’ while you did it, didn’t you? May as well have put on a turban and rode a [fragrant] camel right through the army base, you [low class person]. Thanks for making the foreseeable future a living hell for normal, peace-loving Muslims in this country. Really appreciate it!”

American Sikhs are also reportedly enraged with Hasan, and an official statement from the National Sikh Heritage Center read, in part, “look, we got nothing to do with that guy.”

(AP) “The Obama administration may buy a near-empty prison in rural northwestern Illinois to house detainees from Guantanamo Bay along with federal inmates, a White House official said Saturday.

“The maximum-security Thomson Correctional Facility, about 150 miles west of Chicago, was one of several evaluated by the Federal Bureau of Prisons, and emerged as a leading option to house the detainees, the official told The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because a decision has not been made.”

Of course, that’s where they will put them. It’s about 75 miles west of where I am camped out now.

Maybe they can hire Lynndie England to work there. It looks like it has nice backgrounds for photography.

“The Food and Drug Administration is taking aim at caffeinated alcoholic drinks, saying it will pull them off the market unless manufacturers can prove the beverages are safe to drink.”

So, the Feds don’t like Irish coffee?

Is this because Obama got a hard time at Notre Dame?