Hasty Ruminations

Raisin Bran Extra is promoting a new version with cranberries and nuts.

The ad shows three football fan type guys camped outside a grocery store, waiting for it to open with the new cereal, first in line, sitting in lawn chairs with a cooler and a big foam hand with a #1 finger, and watching a portable TV. These are not phi beta guys.

A woman goes inside the store, and one genius says, “I think this is a 24 hour store.” So all three get up and rush in, to buy the cereal.

Why does the Kellogg Corporation think that portraying their customers as pot-bellied dummies will increase their sales to me? Is that the image they get when they think of me? More to the point, is that what one turns into by eating that cereal?

I for one am grateful that I don’t have to manage my rollover minutes by collecting plastic chips. Like they do in the TV Ads.

The chips won’t fit into a pay phone, let alone into a cell phone.

From FARK.COM:

US to lead the way on fighting swine flu. But hold up a second until Obama appoints 20 top people in HHS, a Surgeon General, and the head of the CDC, and gets his FDA appointee confirmed.

The last time we had the swine flu scare, it was 1976 and President Ford ordered everyone to get shots.

Final score: Swine flu killed one; the shots killed 30.

In unrelated news, Ford was not elected for a second term.

The Obama scandal has caused another leading Catholic to turn down a Notre Dame award, and to decline to speak at the same commencement ceremony as the pro-abortion Pres. Obama.

And that’s a good thing.

From the Washington Post:

Cheney Requests Release of 2 CIA Reports on Interrogations

When he was Machiavelli to Bush, no reporter could get him to talk on the record.

Now we can’t get him to shut up.

Mrs. Fran MacLaren of Cheatham County, TN, said she was beaten by a homeless man after she gave him a cheeseburger outside a McDonalds. She is suing the homeless guy and, since he probably doesn’t have any money, both the McDonalds and the liquor store where he got juiced up for $2 million in damages.

MacLaren gave David Craig, homeless, the cheeseburger as he was lying down in a parking spot outside the restaurant. Craig shouted he didn’t want the burger, just money and threw the burger at MacLaren, she testified. “I told him he was an ungrateful bastard,” she testified.

Craig went after her, she said. He struck her repeatedly, broke her nose, fractured her wrist, cheekbone and cracked a rib, she said. She also injured her knee.

She apparently didn’t repeat the “bastard” thing at this point.

MacLaren limped into the McDonald’s but was later locked out of the restaurant, probably because she became so vocal, violent and anti-social.

According to the suit MacLaren says that the McDonald’s and the liquor store “knew, or should have known, that their mode of operating their particular stores attracted persons prone to criminal acts and provided an environment to crime.”

Yep. Probably why SHE went there to begin with. To torment the homeless.

The McDonalds people, and the guy from the liquor store, weren’t available for comment. They were probably at the hardware store buying ax handles and baseball bats to pay a visit on MacLaren. If I had time to go to Tennessee, I might join them.

How nice!

Pres. Obama flies on the 832,024 pound Air Force One plane with four General Electric CF6-80C2B1 turbofan jet engines. This monster jet plane flew one passenger from Washington to Iowa and back today, blanketing the flight path going and coming with NOx emissions far beyond what 100 SUV’s could produce. The purpose? To celebrate Earth Day, of course!

A phone call wouldn’t have worked?

Remember the flack the heads of the auto companies took for flying corporate jets to testify at Congress? Each brought 12-15 staffers and horse holders. Obama’s boondoggle could have flown 100 of them from Detroit to Washington twice, roundtrip, for the same pollution as his one day trip. And their trips were, like, under subpoena, so necessary, I guess.

If the president’s office had a vase of cut flowers on the plane, they’d be okay, because the engine exhaust is BEHIND them. Everybody else, get an oxygen tank.

Oh, and they used Saudi Arabian, OPEC and Venezuelan crude to make the kerosene to fly the Boon Doggle 1. Which you and I paid for.

How about Segway 1?

Yes, a great Earth Day!

Madoff
Markoff

How are we supposed to keep these alleged felons straight without a program?!

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was given a zero in her quest for Miss USA and insulted by a contest judge (Perez Hilton, who is a gay guy and who set her up).

He asked her if gay marriage should be legalized in all states, and she said no, because she opposes gay marriage. She may have grounds for a discrimination lawsuit against the Miss USA pageant, a legal analyst says, on the basis of using her religious beliefs to deny her a benefit.

M. Perez Hilton should be made to pay her damages out of his own… purse.